My surgical recovery was fairly uneventful, but I never really experienced relief from my endometriosis pain. At 6 weeks out, fully weaned off the post-surgical pain medication, I couldn't understand why I was still hurting just as much as I had been before my surgery. I was encouraged to begin Hormone Replacement Therapy. This did absolutely nothing to help the chronic pain that I was experiencing. On Christmas Day, I ended up in the ER again for pain that I could not get on top of.
I followed up later that week with my OB/GYN who was also at a loss. "I could refer you back to pain management," she suggested. I broke down in tears...partially due to hormone imbalances caused by the menopause that had been surgically-induced in my 40 year old body and partially because my previous pain management regimen had involved so many narcotics that I had been a zombie and unable to enjoy life. I knew that there had to be a better way, but I could not figure out what it was and neither could my physician. She called in a prescription for MS Contin (extended-release morphine) and sent me on my way to mull over my one option.
At this point, I was also nearing 300 pounds. I'm not going to TOTALLY blame the endometriosis for that, but being bed-ridden for months at a time had done little for the "move more" mantra that I knew would move me closer to the 1-derland (under 200 pounds) number that I desired to see staring back at me when I stepped on the scale. Feeling lousy also led to a lot of comfort food consumption. Did I make those choices? Of course! No one shoved junk food down my throat, but I like to think that if I had been feeling better, I might have had the energy to prepare healthier foods and the wherewithal to resist the unhealthy options that I turned to in the name of convenience and comfort.
In regard to both my pain and my weight, something needed to change...drastically. I pondered a lot on Einstein's quote about insanity. I had always approached my pain with the same types of interventions: pharmaceuticals, doctors, surgeries and procedures. I had always approached my weight with roller coaster dieting - feast then famine, then repeat, repeat, repeat. Both were vicious cycles with no permanent solution or even an end to speak of. I began to realize that I needed to do something completely different if I wanted to experience different results. I declined my OB/GYN's pain management option and began to research and pray. I had, indeed, gotten to the end of my rope.