Here We Go Again

My story left off in January 2014 following my radical hysterectomy in November of 2013. My abdominal pain never really stopped following those drastic measures. Sure, some of the stabbing and burning, cat-scratch like pain inside that I knew to be endo-related was gone, but my lower left abdomen was still riddled with the nerve damage and scar tissue pain that I had experienced throughout my endometriosis journey as a result of the many procedures I had undergone. 

This pain interfered with life and work a little bit, but luckily, my hours were flexible so I was able to work around my illness. I missed out on a few things socially, but overall I felt okay and the pain was manageable. I bought into the fact that my endo was dying off from lack of estrogen and that all of the pain I felt was related to pelvic floor dysfunction, scar tissue and nerve damage to my abdomen from all of my surgeries and procedures. This was my new normal and for the most part, it worked.

Over the course of the next 2 or 3 years, as a result of finding a pain management solution that helped me maintain a busy and somewhat active and healthy lifestyle, I lost over 100 pounds and began to work full-time again! I had a new-found lease on life and I was ready and raring to go! 

In early November of 2017, I was at an event for the community health and wellness program that I run when a familiar foe made its return in a noticeable way. Occasionally in the past few years, I had terrible pelvic floor disfunction flares that correlated with extra busy, stressful seasons or times where I knew I had gone overboard with physical activity or lifting. This was different. This was the same pain in the same places where I had suffered with endo for decades before. But how could it be? I didn't have those parts anymore! The endo had no estrogen source anymore. Wasn't it dying off? 

I crawled home and into my bed after my event and tried to "sleep it off." Maybe it was a fluke? The pain subsided a bit through that initial sleep, but got progressively worse over the next few day until I ended up in the ER for abdominal pain for the first time since early 2013. 

In my heart, I knew what it was, but I went through the proper channels and testing anyway...in a state of numbness and shock as one by one, things were ruled out. 

✅ PRIMARY CARE - Result: Can't be endometriosis. You had a hysterectomy. You should see an OB/GYN, get a colonoscopy, an MRI and an ultrasound.

✅ Ultrasound - all good

✅ MRI - all good

✅ Colonoscopy - clean as a whistle

Colonoscopy prep gets a fancy upgrade! January 2018

✅ OB/GYN - Result: Can't be endometriosis. You had a hysterectomy. You need to see a urologist

✅ Urologist - Result: Can't be endometriosis. You had a hysterectomy. You need to relax and take valium (not even kidding) and a few other wonderful things that I won't share here, but let's just say that he equated the tightness in my lady parts to the chemical symbol, Ti. MY RESPONSE: "You need to get out so that I can get dressed and leave because we are finished here." #YouAreFired

At this point, I had no idea what to do or where to turn, I mean what do you do when you have pain that correlates with parts that you no longer possess? So I did what every confused person in pain does when they have exhausted every possible option in dealing with a chronic problem... I turned to the internet. 

Something Different, But Not New

After my radical hysterectomy in November of 2013, my abdominal pain never really stopped. Some of the stabbing and burning, cat-scratch like pain inside that I knew to be endo-related was gone, but my lower left abdomen was still riddled with the nerve damage and scar tissue pain that I had experienced since my previous laparoscopic endo-related procedures. This kind of pain interfered with life and work a little bit, but luckily, I was only working part-time and my hours were flexible so I was able to work around my illness.

In the year or two prior to my hysterectomy, Maine had initiated a medical marijuana program and since I knew I hadn't had many pain issues during my recreational-use years in college, I decided to pursue my certification. Honestly, I figured I had nothing to lose. I couldn't go back to the zombifying pain management protocol I had been on prior to my pregnancy, but over-the-counter medications were not doing the trick for the pain I was experiencing. I traveled downstate for an evaluation and when the doctor whipped out the file folder of my history that had been sent from multiple providers, it was bulging beyond two inches thick. As he put the folder down on the table between us, he said, "First, I feel like I should hug you because what you have been through is terrible." After a hug, he continued, "Now, I can't make any guarantees, but based on your history, I am hopeful that you will be able to find some relief from this medicine." He provided me with my certificate and explained to me the process of accessing medication. On my trip back north, I stopped to get established with a registered "caregiver" who provided me with different strains of medication to try.

I have to admit, I was a bit nervous trying the medicine for the first time. It had been over a decade since my recreational use college days and I was worried that I was either going to revert back to a frat-party mentality or gain hundreds of pounds from the munchies. What ended up happening surprised everyone, but most of all me... Within a few minutes of taking the medicine, my pain was gone. I was not couch-locked. I did not feel "high" because the high effects of the CBD & THC were counter-balanced by my pain. I felt good. I had energy.

Day 1 of getting my life back... January 2014

Within 15 minutes of taking the medication, I was digging a snow cave with my children in our front yard. Emily was almost 4 and she had never in her life seen me get down on the ground to play with them in this way. While the girls continued to play cautiously around me out of habit, we laughed and wrestled and even took a short nap in the cave we had built. It was the best day EVER after my wedding and birth/adoption days.

I continued to manage my pain with my new medication and actively sought other natural means of pain management like nutritional changes, essential oils and detoxification protocols. I had a good deal of energy, so I started making some positive lifestyle changes - eating more clean, organic, whole foods and drinking more water. I lost 120 pounds over the next 12-months (take THAT munchies!) and even started a small side business selling jewelry online and at local events with my daughters while continuing to work part-time. We made such wonderful memories together with our jewelry business and it was flexible around my bad pain days.

I missed out on a few things socially, but overall I felt okay and the pain was manageable. I bought into the fact that my endo was dying off from lack of estrogen and that all of the pain I felt was related to pelvic floor dysfunction, scar tissue and nerve damage to my abdomen from all of my surgeries and procedures. This was my new normal and for the most part, it worked.